Intro to Number Two: A Religious Proof

Submitted by ReidMR on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 18:28

Welcome to the holy home for the Holy Number Two. /S

Here is the video, transcript, and answers to questions.

It is a sound proof and short introduction to the Holy Number Two. I show what you can do to commit and how to be saved. After watching it you will feel at peace and secure knowing that you will be saved, and will always have something to help you. I show what you have been missing out on and help strengthen your faith and confidence in the Holy Number Two.

I indirectly apply actual arguments to support the points. There are many subtle details used.


Opening credit and title,, Holy Number Two.

YOU have been living your life in a fog. Let me introduce you to the light today. This is an important message specifically for you. There is knowledge that you have been missing out on. Until now.

By the time this video finishes you will know exactly what you have been missing out on and will be at ease knowing that you will be saved.

HERE is the Holy Number Two (holding up a mechanical pencil, the Holy Number Two). It instructed me to speak and write this message. You see this?! It is having me speak and write that it is holy (writing that on paper). I know it may be only communicating with me but...

Excuse me, I'm making a video, later! (Holy Number Two interrupted).

Sorry, but you have to trust me on this one. You know that it is holy because the Holy Number Two said it is, and you know THAT is true because it has its written word here, and the written word is true because the Holy Number Two said it is (more written proof). And this is just a completely non-circular, infallible argument.

I'm… not... insane! (Looking a bit unstable).

It is the Holy Number Two talking through me! What else is it saying? Oh, look here! "Everyone must accept that I am the one and only Holy Number Two. Unless you don't feel like it." You can also see it is true because it is leaving its own mark on the paper! Don't be so naive thinking that you are the one leaving the mark on the paper. All that has to be done for us know that something is true is for to be written. Look at any fiction book: "Harry Potter," "The Holy Bible," "Modern Hindi Short Story," "The Holy Geeta," "Breakfast with Buddha," "The Dhammapatra," "The Holy Koran," "Girls of Riyadh," "The Spaghetti Tangle," and "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster." All of those were written to test your faith by, you guessed it, the Holy Number Two. One special note, don't be misguided by the Pastafarians. Yet another far-fetched religion. That's just just crazy.

This... is the only true being (holding up the Holy Number Two, a mechanical pencil).

All others: God, the Noble Ones, Ishvara, Allah, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster are simply misguided wannabes. Reject the LIES! It has always been here in one of its forms, and made itself by instructing humans to do it because it is all powerful, but wanted humans to help. That is why it made humans, so it had less work for itself and so it feels validated by having something believe in it.

So, take it up and trust in it. It will guide you whenever you need to write using an old outdated tool. Although, this is even becoming too modern! I mean look, can't we stick to our roots? Can hardly find a normal yellow number two today. What a shame. Many will live blindly not even knowing what a pencil sharpener is! Think about that. They won't know what a pencil sharpener is! Should you ever need help on a written exam or to fill out a scantron, take it up and trust in it. Ultimately IT writes the answers. Sometimes, they won't be the answers you want, but that's okay, because it knows what's best for you. It works in mysterious ways.

Take the Number Two affirmations today by touching a number two pencil or taking a number two. To really show your commitment, do both at the same time! Once you have done that, you have taken your lifelong, irreversible commitment to the Number Two. Cherish it. Hold it. Keep it close. Trust it. Don't worry, it's the Number Two helping you whenever you needed an outdated way to dictate your life and think for you. Do not think for yourself. The best thing you can do is to use the Number Two. Don't question it, it loves to leave its permanent mark!

Over seven billion humans have already taken their affirmations. If you have not, take one of the affirmations and join the ranks. Now the fog is clear. You have been saved. Carry on.

/End transcript.

More Information

If you have questions as to what to do, contact me, and I will try to answer them on this site.

This is the second video I have made so am still learning. If you have any feedback on how a next video could be improved, please contact me.

The material used is nearly all my own, but I have used one image with permission, and some legally as per the fair use and fair dealings exemptions to copyright law. Please contact me with any concerns at

Answers to Questions

Q1. Is it a legitimate religion? It is as legitimate and real as any other religion. In this one, you can prove the Almighty exists with actual legitimate evidence.

Q2. What do I have to do to join? Take or use a number two.

Q3. Send me more.